Prisoner of Your Own Home
by alpha aquarii
Summary: Oh no... Holly's being asked to house Chix Verbil! How will she survive? COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl.

Note: This takes place after EC but before OD, cause I MISS BEETROOT!

Prisoner of your own Home

Chapter 1

"You want me to _what_!" Holly exclaimed.

"Holly, it's only temporary-" managed Foaly. "Julius's orders."

"Shut UP!" said Holly. "I am not, I repeat, I am NOT going to house that-that-that PERVERTED SPRITE!" She banged her fists onto the table for effect.

Chix Verbil's house had been destroyed a week ago when some particularly unstable chemicals had mixed with the beetle juice he had left out from a couple nights ago. The resulting explosion had reduced his home to so many pieces of wood. Luckily for him, he was at work when it happened.

Holly put her head in her hands. "Why me? Why not someone else? Anyone else?" she questioned for the millionth time.

Foaly was about to say "Julius's orders" again, but thought better of it. Instead, he said, "He won't even be there half the time. You'll both be at work."

Commander Root heard them arguing in Foaly's office and burst in. Foaly and Holly didn't even know he was there until he had yelled, "SHORT! You will allow Verbil to stay in your house until he is ready to move into his apartment! That's a direct order Captain, don't you dare disobey me on that one!" And with his face glowing shade of purple that would have rivaled the color itself, Root lit one of his trademark fungus cigars and stalked out of the room.

"This just keeps getting better and better," Holly said through gritted teeth.

One day later:

Holly decided to meet Chix at his cubicle after work was over. She couldn't believe it. The LEP wanted her to give up her freedom, her space to this arrogant sprite? Unbelievable. Most people who saw her clenched fists and teeth kept their distance in the hall as she walked up to Verbil's workspace. A few people dared to go as far as to ask if anything was wrong. They were treated to one of her famous ice-melting glares.

Chix's door was closed, so she kecked it as hard as she could. When it was opened, she let herself kick Chix in the shin. Except it wasn't Chix. She accidently kicked Major Trouble Kelp. He yelped in pain and surprise, and stumbled backward.

"OhmygoshTroubleIamsosorry!" she apologized at once. "It was an acci-"

"It's okay, Holly, I'm fine," Trouble answered, clutching his knee. "I'll be going now," Limping slightly, he stumbled into the hall. _Smooth move, _she told herself.

Holly dragged her eyes back into Chix's cubicle. He had gotten up and said, "Hey beautiful. We're gonna have the best of times together, just you and me-ow!" Holly kicked him purposefully.

"Let's go," she said curtly, marching into the hall, towards the exit. This was going to be one long week.

Chix kept talking the entire way home, despite Holly's stern glares and frequent… ah… bodily harm to him. When they finally got to Holly's home, she began to really think about what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to let him in her house. _Oh my God,_ she thought,_ I'm going to have to use the same shower as him, and eat with him, not to mention washing _his_ laundry…_

"Here's your room," she said coldly. It was actually Holly's study, but it only had a desk and a lamp. "The cot's in the closet." She pushed him in with his small suitcase of salvaged possessions, then stormed downstairs when a new though hit her: _What to get for dinner?_

OK, OK, a lame way to end the chapter. Review if you want to, keep in mind this is my first fanfic.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl.

Prisoner of Your Own Home

Chapter 2

Holly decided to order pizza from her house. There was absolutely no way she was going to be seen in public with Chix.

15 minutes after she ordered, the doorbell rang. Holly turned over the money and brought the pizzas down to her dining room.

Dinner wasn't as bad as she thought. Up until Chix asked her out for coffee. What he actually said was, "Hey gorgeous, how about you and me go out to coffee tomorrow after work? Just us alone, we'll have a great time-ow! What was that for?" he demanded after Holly purposely stepped on his feet.

"Just shut up, OK? Just shut up."

"What? Just trying to do a girl a favor."

_"Favor?"_ Holly said, biting down extra hard on her cheese pizza.

"Well, you know, you don't really have an actual boyfriend-"

"And what? You expect me to hang out with you? I'd rather have my house explode!" She stormed upstairs into her room. Chix's words ruined her appetite. She sighed out loud. One _whole_ week. How was she going to make it?

Holly woke up the next morning feeling drained and exhausted. She hadn't slept until three in the morning last night. With a groan, she dragged herself up and threw on her uniform. She was going to leave early as to avoid Chix _and _get to work on time for once. She taped a note that said, 'Chix- I'm leaving early. Remember to lock my door- Holly.' on her door. That lazy sprite was still asleep. Pausing only to grab a pop-tart and to give her hair a quick comb, she slammed the door and began to walk to work, knowing all too well that she looked worse for the wear.

"Hey Holly, what happened to you?" Foaly asked as she walked by. She stopped. "Chix happened to me you idiot!" she snarled. "He's been driving me crazy and I'm stuck with him for god knows how long! You wouldn't last long if you were in MY position!" She started walking again.

"Geez," Foaly muttered after he was sure Holly was out of hearing range. "Touchy."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, obviously.

Prisoner of your Own Home

Chapter three! At last!

Holly sipped wearily at what seemed to be her 50th coffee that morning. She felt as if Chix had kept her up all night. While she knew this wasn't true, she couldn't stop herself…

Holly jerked her head upright. There she was, dozing off again. She had to keep her mind focused on her work.

She was aware of someone snapping their fingers under her nose. "Wha?" she mumbled.

A figure swam into view. It was Foaly. Holly straightened herself to look at him with a half-awake glare, and said, "What do you want Foaly?"

"It's our favorite Beetroot. He wants to see you in his office pronto. Some goblins escaped from Howlers' Peak last night. Nothing major."

"Then tell him to give it to some other unwilling officer," muttered Holly quietly.

"What?"

"Ah, I meant, I'm on my way," Captain Short briefly wondered why Julius hadn't simply yelled for her like he would on any other day.

She got up from her spinning chair and walked the short distance between her cubicle and the commander's office.

The commander did not look happy as she knocked and entered. "Sit down, Short." he barked in his usual gruff manner of greeting.

She sat. "Did Foaly tell you what this mission is about?"

"Not in great detail, sir."

"Right. A couple of our scaly friends have escaped from Howlers' Peak. Bring a neutrino just in case. I don't know how they got out their seeker-sleepers, but when you get them, make sure to tag them with these brand-new ones. CAPTAIN SHORT!" His face took on a dangerous red hue as he realized Holly was asleep in her chair.

Holly woke with a start to find the Commander's face inches from her own, a blood-red color. She swore she could feel the warmth emanating from it this close.

For a moment the dangerous gleam in his eyes turned to concern. "Are you alright Short?" he said in the politest manner he could manage.

Holly nodded, then the commander flew into a rage.

"Were you listening?"

"Yessir," said Holly, nodding her head quickly.

"Then go to it. And-" the commander paused. "Is anything going on?"

_Besides Chix, you mean?_ Holly knew better than to say this out loud, so she said, "No sir. It's just I –er- didn't get much sleep last night. I'll be good as new tomorrow, sir." She mustered what she hoped looked like a convincing smile.

"Well, then," the commander's face began (or rather, continued) coloring. "Get to it!"

"Yessir." Holly jumped up from her seat.

After the mission:

Holly looked forward to going home, even if it meant seeing Chix again. All the caffeine in the whole entire coffee machine hadn't been enough to boost her energy level.

The mission took longer than usual. Twice Foaly had been forced to yell into the microphone in Holly's helmet to wake her up (how she managed to sleep in the pod when it was trying to turn her inside-out was a mystery), with the result that after the mission he was becoming a little more than slightly worried about Holly, but not enough to force Chix out of her house.

The mission itself was a no-brainer. Holly could have done it in her sleep. Goblins…the most useless fairy breed who had the misfortune to live.

She arrived at her door and unlocked it with her four-digit code. Another one of the many irks of having Chix with her- she did not trust him to keep her access code a secret.

Chix was on her couch, watching TV with a bored expression on his face that quickly turned to delight once he saw her. "Hey beautiful!" he tossed his hair back in a way he thought he could impress Holly with.

Sprites have so much to learn.

"Call me that again and I won't hesitate to punch you." Holly threatened, bringing her fist up for demonstration. Without waiting for a reply, she stormed into the kitchen to look for her leftover pizza.

It was gone. Cursing silently at how much sprites ate, Holly took out the only untouched piece of food in the fridge left- a grilled cheese sandwich. She put it in the microwave briefly, and ate it. After that she decided to go to sleep.

In the morning:

Her alarm blared at 6:30 a.m. Groaning, Holly slammed her fist on the off button, and heaved herself out of bed. She was still tired, but that was the normal in-the-morning, once-you-wake-up tiredness.

Chix was downstairs. Once he saw her, he whined, "There's no more food left."

"Too bad," Holly planned to simply buy a nettle smoothie or something on the way to work.

"What do you mean, 'too bad'? if I starve, think of all the ladies who will never get to see this hot Chix man again!"

Holly ground her teeth. "Chix, no one in their right minds would even half-like you, not even Lili Frond, and we all know what a slut she is.

"You're wrong there, Holly. You may not admit it, but you know you like me."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

This continued for a while, as you can imagine, until Holly said, "Look, why don't you just buy something on the way to work?"

"All my money's gone and I don't get my paycheck for another two weeks."

Darn. She'd forgotten about that.

"Fine." Holly said indifferently. "I'll buy you a nettle smoothie. I'll get one too."

"Aww, how about we just share a large?" Chix said innocently.

"Are you crazy? Do you want one or not?"

When they arrived at On-The-Go Breakfasts and Brunches, Holly was extremely irritated that the guy at the register was one of Chix's sprite friends, therefore, he tried to give them a large nettle smoothie despite Holly's orders of two small ones. Holly threatened to sue.

At work:

"So how's Chix?" It was lunchtime and Trouble Kelp was leaning his chair back on two legs nonchalantly.

Holly shuddered. "A nightmare! Not only does he eat all my food, but today he waned to share a large nettle smoothie with me!"

"Woah."

"Exactly. I feel like punching the living daylights out of him."

"Why don't you lodge a complaint?"

Holly snorted. "Like Grub? Who do you think I am?"

Three hours later:

Holly stared at her letter, debating whether to rip it up or not. She couldn't believe she'd taken Trouble's advice to write a complaint. Was she becoming just like Grub Kelp? The idea was too horrendous to think about.

Holly nervously looked the letter over, checking it for mistakes, and headed to the Council's mailbox.

"Where are you going Holly?" A familiar voice issued from behind her. She turned around to see Foaly.

"N-nowhere…" The last thing she needed was Foaly to find out where indeed she was going.

"What's that?" He pointed to the envelope clutched in her hand.

"Just a letter…" It was true, right? "Well…gotta go…" Holly dashed off to the mailboxes. She slipped her envelope into the mailbox and raced back to her cubicle.

End chapter

Well, there you go! Sorry it took so long for me to update, in between school and everything I basically wrote this over. Tell me what you think of it. Next chapter we'll find out what Beetroot has to say about Holly's letter...dun dun dun dun…….

Review replies:

_Cola4Life_- No, I'm not that cruel… shows teeth Or am I? Thanks for reviewing.

_Kreepi Spicer_- Thanks!

_Trouble Kelp_- Thanks, I'll try to make them longer. They look so much better on Microsoft Word! Anyway, sorry, no pairings in this one. I might do a troubleholly fic soon though…

_Trouble Kelp_- Thanks for reviewing.

_athleticsrulz_- Thanks for reviewing! You were my first reviewer! Anyway, thanks, at the time I hadn't explored my account very well, but now I've enabled anonymous reviews. I usually write out a plotline for my stories but this is my first. In other words, not really. Thanks again for reviewing.

I'm going to update my other story first before I put another chapter on this. Sorry for the inconvenience!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl.

Note: I changed my pen name for no reason! Yay me!

Further note: I know I say this at the bottom too, but I'm really sorry if this is short, next chapter will be longer, I promise!

Prisoner of Your Own Home

Chapter 4

The next day:

"SHORT!" A lion-like roar erupted from the doorway of Commander Root's office. Holly jumped about a mile in her seat-she wondered what she could have done now.

She left her cubicle hurriedly and entered Root's office. In one hand he clutched an official-looking envelope-it had stamps and everything-, and in the other hand (Holly gulped) he held Holly's own letter. His face was coloring at an alarming rate as he read Holly's letter. "Sit down." The commander said the words slowly and deliberately, careful to get the tone right. His words were strained, trying to hold in his temper.

Holly sat, feeling thoroughly spooked. The commander spoke quietly, saying, "Did you or did you not understand you were _not_ to question the orders of letting Verbil into your house?"

Holly swallowed. What could she say? If she said no, she would be in for a big verbal beating. If she said yes, he would undoubtedly shove her letter under her nose, proving herself a liar. So, instead, she replied, "Commander sir, Chix and I don't get along too well…"

"Well then I suggest you get along because you are going to stay with Verbil until he moves in!"

Holly's heart sank, but she proceeded with her next question anyway.

"So what does the Council say?"

Root's face was turning red. He pulled out a fungus cigar and lit it for some comfort. It was a while before he answered.

"They've contacted Chix Verbil's relative Matt Verbil, and in three days he will come to pick Chix up from you."

Well, that was one good thing. Three more days and Chix would be out of her house.

Back to the present. "The point is, Short, that's it's unlike you to lodge a complaint. Just how bad is Verbil?"

Holly had a choice. Spill her guts and risk being fired or keep quiet and find some other excuse?

Holly decided to spill her guts. She couldn't stand housing Chix any longer.

"Bad," she stated, then she realized how stupid her answer was. "He keeps acting like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, calling me 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous', and trying to get me to like him. Ever since I healed his wing he's convinced I love him and everything. He keeps flirting with me, he doesn't understand I never have and never will love him." _Well, you've already started…might as well go on. _"He keeps asking me if he can be my boyfriend. He just doesn't get it." Holly finished her speech and wondered what the Commander was going to say. The funniest thing was he had actually stubbed out his cigar and listened.

"Well." The statement made Holly nervous. "Has Verbil made an -er- attempt on you so far?"

"No sir. He seems to be pretty light-hearted about it, but he's very irritating." Oops. Shouldn't have said that.

But the commander didn't pick up her accidental hint, and didn't rat about how if he was only 'irritating', so to speak, that she should be able to handle him. He said, "Well then Short. Do you think you can handle housing Verbil for another three days?"

What choice did she have but to say yes? So that's what she did.

The commander actually showed concern for her as he said, "Right. Well, I'll issue Verbil a warning that he better not take advantage of you. Meanwhile, GET BACK TO WORK!" His face turning 'Beetroot red' (as Foaly had dubbed it one day), Root directed Holly out of her seat.

Well, it hadn't been a total loss. She had finally done something about her Chix dilemma, and while she doubted Chix would actually listen to it, at least it was something. And she would only have to worry about him for three more days!

The rest of the day was spent on an aboveground mission concerning two sprites and a dwarf who thought it would be extremely funny to let out swear toads in the mud man country of Canada. Holly turned red and nearly slapped her forehead in embarrassment of the recent memory.

When she got home, Chix immediately confronted her. Holly had amused herself on the way back home how Chix's face might look when she got back home. Holly thoughts Chix would be mad at her, but what instead happened was Chix wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Totally stunned, it took her a little longer then usual to comprehend what Chix was doing this time. When the thought finally cycled through her brain, she pushed him off with all the force she could, let out a few words that I _could_ put here but I've rated this a PG. so let's skip that part and go on to the next- Holly savagely demanding 'what the D'Arvit is going on', to be precise.

Meanwhile, Chix was saying, "I knew you loved me! I knew you couldn't resist me!"

Holly blinked, all thoughts from her head gone, flying out the window like aboveground birds. The only thing she could remotely mumble was , "Hmmrph?" Soon this solitary sound turned into five more. "What. Are. You. Talking. About." The words were not a question.

Beaming, Chix was eager to answer. "You wrote a letter to the Council about me! Root told me!"

Oh, gods above. So _that's_ how he had interpreted it. Holly gritted her teeth. "That was a letter of _complaint,_ you idiot. I was _complaining_ about having to live with you. Can't you put two and two together? I DO NOT LIKE YOU!"

Chix's face fell, but he still managed to look haughty as he put his hands on his hips and glared at Holly. "Deny it all you want, Cap'n, but I know one day you'll come to your senses!"

"Riiight." Holly stalked into her kitchen in search of aspirin.

Well, there you go! Chapter four. Sorry if it's a bit short, but I can't type very well due to my pinky, which I cut in science class the day I had a field trip in NH, so I had to miss the field trip AND go to the emergency room pronto and have some doctor glue my skin back on (sorry if I grossed you out there). But the field trip was only Stonehenge America, and despite the fact I couldn't go, I STILL had to write a report on it! Unfair! Oh yeah, and people spread rumors about me that I was gonna sue the school, which I am not.

Anyway,

_Review replies:_

SPG- I know, how could Eoin Colfer do that?

Trouble Kelp- Thanks!

Kreepi Spicer- Yeah, Mulch is kinda cool. Thanks for reviewing.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Heh…still don't own…zzzzzz…

Sorry 4 making you all wait so long! I lost my floppy disk so that slowed things down as I had to type EVERYTHING on it over again! But don't worry, here's the last chapter! Ya I didn't really plan to make it the last chapter until I actually wrote it, but whatever. I got kinda sick of this story halfway through, so it's a miracle I'm actually finishing it!

Prisoner of Your Own Home

Chapter 5

The next day:

Holly woke up with a splitting headache, which was weird because of all the aspirin she took the day before. Trying to move as little as possible, she found the bottle on her nightstand and checked the expiration date.

6/13/05.

Holly stared at the little black numbers inked on the smooth white surface of the pill bottle, then cursed savagely. Bad move. Hearing her words echo around her small room only made her headache worse.

You see, fairy medicine is different from human medicine. If not used by the expiration date, it would have the complete opposite effect that it was supposed to. In this case, taking aspirin that was nearly half a year past the date, Holly had considerately strengthened the headache she had last night.

Holly laid back down and tried to sleep. Not easy when your forehead is throbbing like something unspeakable…

Her alarm blared. Wincing as a sharp bolt of pain cut through her forehead, Holly turned it off. Time to get up, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. She knew from unfortunate experiences from the past that her headache would last all day.

Holly grabbed an icepack and held it to her forehead while she changed into her LEP outfit, then headed to the bathroom to wash her face. Dragging her feel behind her, Holly walked downstairs, clutching the railing so hard her knuckles turned white.

Chix instantly perked up when he saw her coming downstairs. He opened his mouth to say something, but Holly pointed a menacing finger at him and said, "Don't start,", so he shut up like implied.

The two had breakfast in silence, which was strange because Chix had a mouth louder than his slim body suggested. However, Holly was glad for the lack of noise. Even chewing made her head throb worse.

Holly was thankful that once she was at work, she had her own Chix-free, noise-free enclosed space (a.k.a. office). Luckily today all she had was paperwork, nothing too important like an aboveground mission. After about half an hour of filling out boring forms, Holly trooped over to Foaly's office, massaging her head fiercely.

"FOALY!" she yelled once in front of his office doors. She didn't care if she attracted stares from everyone else in the office. A few minutes later, Foaly's glass doors smoothly _whirred_ open, to reveal a not-so-smooth looking Foaly. A trail of wet hoofprints led to where he was standing, and his body was crudely wrapped in a sopping wet white towel which was dripping water into a little puddle at the ground.

Holly stared.

"Where have you _been_?"

Foaly folded his arms defensively. "I was just taking a shower, minding my own business, when _you_ came along. What do you want?"

"You were taking a shower? _Here?_"

"My home shower broke down."

"…oh."

"What do you want? Root told me there weren't going to be any aboveground missions today."

"Oh. Right." She had nearly forgotten. "Do you have any aspirin?"

Foaly's hands rose into the air. "What do I look like? A nurse? Well, yeah," he added hastily as Holly looked like she was going to thoroughly murder him. Foaly trotted away a couple of steps and opened a desk drawer filled with needles and pill bottles and liquid painkiller. He rummaged through it, and finally came out with a small bottle. He handed the bottle to Holly along with a glass of water.

Without thanking him, Holly grabbed the bottle and water and stalked out of Foaly's office, too preoccupied in checking the expiration date on his bottle.

-

Captain Short arrived at her doorway after work, feeling like a mess. Her headache had gone away, but her brain hurt from all the paperwork she was forced to do.

Holly collapsed on her couch and rested until Chix made his way in a little while later.

"Hey, babe," he greeted her.

"Don't call me babe, Verbil," Holly said wearily.

Both of them had come home so late they had already had dinner outside, so once Chix came, Holly shut the door and prepared to go to bed. After she had brushed her teeth, she made it to the foot of the stairs before Chix attacked her.

Literally.

He grabbed her waist and turned her around to face him. In one fluid motion, he kissed her on the lips.

The next few things that happened were somewhat of a blur to Chix. Holly pushed herself away, screamed, "D'ARVIT!", and punched Chix in his sick green face, leaving him stunned and painfully lying on his injured wing, with a broken nose that magic was already healing. As for Holly, she stormed upstairs, re-brushed her teeth, flossed, used mouthwash, and applied several layers of chapstick before she decided her mouth was clean enough to go to sleep.

-

Holly woke up with one thought on her mind. _He's going today…he's going today…_this wonderful thought gave her the motivation to get up and dress.

Chix was already downstairs with his stuff all packed up. He would get one day off work to move in. Holly served the two of them breakfast contently, knowing that it would be the last meal they would have together. Right before Holly was about to leave, the doorbell rung with a loud _ding!_ Holly rushed to open the door.

There stood (or rather, hovered) a sprite that looked remarkably like Chix, except he looked older and had no injured wing, though he had several scars on his right arm. "Hey," he said, winking at Holly. "I'm Matthew Verbil, but call me Matt please." They shook hands. "You must be Holly. Chix has told me lots about you."

"I'll bet he has," Holly muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Er, nothing. Nice to meet you."

"I hope he wasn't too much trouble," Matt said, winking at Chix this time.

Holly wasn't one to not speak her mind, but she wasn't one to be impolite on first meeting someone either. So instead of saying Chix was a pain in the neck who had kissed her against her will, she settled on saying, "Well, it's getting late, I had better get ready to go. You first." She added, waving the two sprites out the door. "Bye!" With that, she locked her door and parted in the opposite direction from Matt and Chix.

"Goodbye darling!" Chix's voice wafted over to her, but Holly decided to let the comment pass out of pure joy of having one less sprite in the house.

-

"Holly?" Foaly looked strangely nervous as he poked his face through Holly's cubicle.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come in here for a sec?"

"Sure." Holly abandoned her B'wa Kell report and followed Foaly into his office. She stared as he triple-locked his doors, closed all connections, and activated the soundproof walls around his office. "Is all this really necessary?"

"Oh yes. This and more." Foaly said as he twirled a dial to max sound-proof-ness (yes, max sound-proof-ness…), then sat the both of them down in squeaky plastic chairs. "I don't know where to begin…well, alright. Yesterday Trouble got a few bonus vacation days added for a job well done on an aboveground mission. He has so many days, he decided to use some of them up. Trouble wanted to take Grub with him, but as-per-regulations he can't. Trouble's going to be away on vacation for about a month, and, well, he doesn't trust Grub by himself at home. He would have sent him to their parents, but they've recently moved, too far away for Grub to keep his job in the LEP. That's where _you_ come in. Trouble was wondering if you could, erm, help him by letting Grub into your house for the duration of the month or so."

Silence.

More silence.

Then-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The End

Yeah I finished it! Please review. And oh yeah my email isn't working ever since I switched services. So if you PM or email me I probably won't get it. Sorry!


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